i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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