I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Operation Purity has been aborted
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
you made out with another girl for some wings
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
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