Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
