Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
