there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Randomize