You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
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