Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
