awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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