In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize
