I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Randomize
