"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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