Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
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We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
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I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
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