I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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