My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
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Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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