doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
