if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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