checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Randomize