I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
