YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
