i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize