I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Randomize
