Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
