the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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