Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
