he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
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