perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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