I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
