we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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