So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
