ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
