She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
