Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
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