Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
