she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
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