What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Randomize
