I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
