i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
