he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I have grass duct taped all over my body
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
