Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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