Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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