I wanna passion pit in your ass
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Randomize
