We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
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