Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Dear god my vagina.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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