she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
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