filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize