im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
They took my balls.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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