There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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