youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
