You know, be my cock's hype man.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize