Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
