ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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