i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Randomize
