Please, let me fuck your mom
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Is that strawberry winking at me??
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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