great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
