Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
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