I'm gonna have a badass scar
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
